While this is certainly not a new-topic post for this Tribe, it is a new point of light for me. For 30+ years I have lived in Chronic Pain and the last couple of years has found me two different times on LIfe Support. What is relevant for me, here and now, is that I found (throughout the hellish existence I was trying to pass off as a life) . I found my Self involved, immersed in drawing. . I have always felt that there lay within some expression of who I am that had not found a voice...a Way of Liberation. You must wonder (as I still do) what was the nature/purpose/higher realizations (?) of such experience that could find an outlet, and a retreat -- a dramatic shifting of Vision. What price did I pay for being so stubborn in holding to a pattern of limitation, dependency, alienation and despair...a great one. (And that would take a Book to entertain and just now that is boring to me.)
What I want to say is that a whole realm opened to me when I was at a point of complete and total abandonment of spirit (whatever that may mean). My mind was confounded-- and I see--now-- that this was necessary to one who is so 'bent' on being rigidly stuck to dogma. Your life is going to unfold as it will and nothing that you can do of your little understanding (if any can be said to exist at all) will avail..unveil TRUTH (yours) until you are like the ripened (and ready sweet fruit from the tree or the vine),.wherein your ANSWER drops easily, even as you approach it, it becomes ready to let go and falls upon your breath.
I'd never taken any classes, nor thought really to dwell upon something I thought I must do. Actually it was out of a great disappointment that it came and brought with it much Aliveness, Peace and Contentment.. I just took it as "therapy" & allowed myself the delicious pleasure whenever possible. Then I began to sculpt clay & realized I wanted this. In fact, into this light I found much that satisfys my soul.
Did this heal me? I believe that in getting my Self out of the way, Healing had a pathway not admitting before. None of us know what is really within us...what precious revealing lies with anyone? This can only be birthed by a process akin to that of the physical birthing. Without patience, little of worth will become known of just what & WHO you really are; and until this Presence speaks, you will remain lost. For each of us, the specifics of that remains an enigma of old litanys and hidden moments of wonder and elevation.

patricia